This is probably going to be a little too personal and maybe it’s inappropriate to write about but I need to and I don’t care. My (ex) boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago and I’ve learned a lot about myself, a lot about what I need in a relationship, and a lot about God. I never intended for our relationship to end, and if I would have known it would end, I probably wouldn’t have let it begin. It would’ve been quite a bit less painful that way. But God knew I’d learn everything I’ve learned so it served its purpose and I don’t regret anything. Before I begin listing everything I’ve learned here’s a little disclaimer… he is by far one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know but life happens and things don’t work out and God’s plan is far better than mine.
Some things I learned about myself, relationships, and God.
- I’m really hard to love. I’m so human and imperfect. I complain a lot. I’m moody and angry. I think I know everything. I really suck at being nice. I can’t make decisions. I’m so hard to love but God loves me anyway.
- I need encouragement in all areas. I need to be encouraged to live a life that is pleasing to God. I need to be held accountable. I need daily encouraging words. I don’t particularly like being so dependent on others but I’ve learned that to be the best person I can be, I need encouragement and I’m really thankful for those who give it to me.
- I really, truly, desperately need a man who will faithfully lead us into a Christ-centered relationship and lead me closer to Jesus. I can’t take anything less. As previously mentioned, spiritual encouragement is a necessity for me to stay on fire for the Lord. I want to never stop talking about Him and never stop serving Him but if the man I’m in a relationship with can’t keep up with me, that’s a problem. He should already be a few steps ahead of me.
- God’s plans truly are what’s best. I prayed so hard for over a month before we broke up, trying to determine God’s will. It was spiritually and emotionally draining. Two weeks post-breakup, I’m overwhelmingly at peace with the situation proving that this is God’s will. (Not saying it’s a walk in the park because it still really sucks). God’s plans are so much more elaborate than mine can ever be. They are so much better than mine can ever be. His plans are holy. Mine are human.
- I need someone who appreciates my humor because let’s face it. I think I’m a lot funnier than I actually am. So I need a guy who thinks I’m a lot funnier than I actually am too. (I’m hilarious).
- I think I’m Bilbo Baggins. Adventures suddenly appeal to me. I’d go skydiving if someone asked me to. But even more importantly, I am truly excited for the adventures God is going to present me with. I cannot wait.
This isn’t everything I learned, just a little chunk I wanted to share, because I could go on forever talking about everything I’ve learned.
P.s. John don’t kill me for posting this.