Grace.

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[Here’s to me trying to write a blog about my boyfriend without being too cheesy. But I know it will be so I apologize ahead of time. I also don’t really have the vocabulary to begin to describe what is happening right now so I apologize for that too.]

I’m speechless, in awe, and a little bit confused by life currently. I don’t even know where to begin. I met my boyfriend, Ryan, a little over a month ago. It feels like I’ve known him for years, honestly. I have never met someone who is so willing to understand me and someone who I understand so easily. Relationships- including friendships- are hard for me. Not in a way that inhibits me from making friends, but in a way that disables my ability to have deep relationships with others. Maybe I have a trust problem. Maybe it’s just my personality. Maybe I get bored with people. Regardless of the reason, relationships are hard. Having a relationship with Ryan, however, is relievingly (that’s totally a word) simple. He gets me. I get him. We don’t get bored. Silence happens and it’s okay. I care about his life. He cares about mine. It’s amazing.

But the most amazing thing about this whole thing is Jesus. Ryan and I both have pasts. Everyone does. We’ve made mistakes and bad decisions. Grace is more than those pasts and thank God, Christ died for our sins. This relationship perfectly reflects the love and grace of Jesus. We forgive and love each other like Jesus does us. Because of that, I have grown tremendously since knowing Ryan. He constantly pushes me closer to Christ instead of distracting me. The relationship we have wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful if God’s goodness and timing wasn’t perfect. A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t been in awe of Jesus. I am so undeserving of His love and forgiveness but He gives it freely as a gift. I am also undeserving of Ryan’s love and forgiveness but he mimics Christ and gives it freely.

Thankful isn’t a word that properly describes my gratitude.
This post probably didn’t properly describe this relationship.
But God is so good and grace constantly blows my mind.
Love is so beautiful.

-mjm